We have at least 2 FULL and COMPLETE sets of dishes, yet we only use trashy DI plates, the origin of which no one knows.
We tilled our garden this spring, but never planted it.
A man named Jesus took our mountain of junk (which we cleaned out of the garage when we moved in) to the dump in exchange for...well...contraband.
Guilty pleasure: showering by candlelight.
We discovered that an unidentified Mexican had been sleeping on our couch for a few weeks only after he sleepwalked into our rooms in the middle of the night babbling about men who were trying to kill him.
We have more kitchen gadgets than you will get at your wedding reception no matter how many items you register.
We found a 4-slice toaster in a box in a suitcase under the basement stairs behind the refrigerator.
We use that toaster now instead of the toaster that came with the house or the one under my bed or the one upstairs...
We have an unopened, unused, brand new microwave...also under the basement stairs behind the refrigerator.
Our bathroom is bright purple.
Jon the fish has an unbreakable will to live.
There are secret doors in our attic. We don't know what's behind them.
Our swamp cooler doesn't work. We run it anyway.
Ridiculous.
