Friday, March 26, 2010


So I'm the new guy.

I feel like I'm the new character entering a foreign world, or the dude entering the show in it's second season. I'm Lando Calrissian joining the Rebel Alliance, Desmond Hume becoming a member of the Flight 815 survivors, Andy Bernard transferring to the Scranton Branch, Gullum/Smeagal offering to be a guide into Mordor, Buzz Lightyear trying to fit in with all the toys, J becoming a member of the M.I.B., Jake Sully replacing his twin brother by using his Avatar, Po the Panda training with the Furious Five, or Harry Potter learning the wizarding ways.

I've done the best I can so far. I bought the paint we used to paint downstairs. I have fallen in love with Betos food. I listen to as much jazz as I can stand. I plan everything with google calendars. I try to share as much food as I can. I'm practicing the different laughs that are common among these people here. I'm starting to glare at people more often. I even bought an iPod Touch so that I could fit in with all the guys!

But no matter what I do, I'm always one step behind.

Jory convinced Tyler to buy a Gold's Gym membership for the next two years. What the heck!?! I can't afford that right now after moving out, buying a tuba, and buying an iPod Touch! I don't even like exercise! Now they go every morning to go work out and then they come home and drink this nasty protein drink; all without me. I'll never never really fit in here. I'll always be that other roommate with the black and red room and the Slytherin outfit.

But you know what? I like it. I enjoy being in the background. I don't like being the spotlight all the time. I can kind of just sit back and enjoy the show. And trust me, there's plenty to witness in the House of Blues.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Bruce's (Employee at Western Farms) Last day on the job...

I have had the privilege of playing in the BYU Wind Symphony this last semester. I played Saxophone in the Wind Symphony for one semester back in 2007, and have been playing Clarinet in the Symphonic band ever since. This has been a great experience, getting to play with this group. It is really a terrific band, and we have a director who is awesome-Dr. Don Peterson. We were invited to be featured at the "CBDNA" (Why? Because we are Mormon and we love acronyms). The CBDNA stands for the "College band Deoxyribonucleic acid" [joke]. Ha ha ha, I just laughed at my own joke (which I need, apparently, as you [all] know, there will likely be a very very small sampling of people who will actually take the time to read this).
In all seriousness, "CBDNA" stands for the "College band director National association". Its one of those groups that with each name that you add to the title of the conference, you get more and more esoteric, until eventually nobody can be in it: "College...(OK, already cutting out a significant portion of the American Population) we are immediately narrowing this down. We take a group [college students] who are already more-or-less nerds in their own right, and select from amongthem the nerdiest nerds of them all [of which I am admittedly and happily one], the band kids)...directors...(need I say more? I really really want to, but I must hold back...basically you take these band kids [pardon the stigma]...and this is the guy [or girl]who is...their leader)...national association (they had to make it a national association because unless this was a national level group, they wouldn't have enough members for a significant meeting). Anyway, we were invited to perform for these guys in Reno, Nevada. Yeah. You take a sampling of all the "College Band Directors", and have us play for them. That makes us...well, I won't finish that sentence!


I served my mission for my church, (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints) in Tulsa, OK. For any of you that know me, I have many stories from my mission, many serious and sacred, and others of a lighter nature. I say this because I have seen, probably more than many, my share of weird, funny, random things.

Keep in mind that in addition to serving in rural Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Kansas, I am from a town in Wyoming that only has around 500 people (see: "Sidewalks and Streetlights" published on 24 November, 2009 in the highly popular and fadicious blog: "House of Blues" [] for more information) in it, and is often the subject of ridicule by those who are more learned or sophisticated than I.

With this in mind, we return to our Hero, who is at the time in question in the almost-backseat of the tour Bus.

So there we were, at a gas station in Reno, NV or thereabouts, and I am wandering around trying to find something to buy (not because I necessarily needed or wanted it, but because my friends had all gone inside, and they had given us each $60 to be spent at our own will). As it turns out, I was incredibly grateful for making that decision to "follow the crowd", for the following experience changed my life forever.

I found this:

Delighted, I obviously made my way straight to the front, and "demanded" to see the manager. The guy that I talked to looked at me and said dryly: "He is not here, besides that is something that you would have to take up with one of our distributors", to which I replied: "OK, is he here?"

He didn't find it quite as funny as I, but who ever does?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

A plethora of painstakingly placed pieces of poetic prose.

We have adventures.

This may come as a surprise.

Some like them, some don't.

We realize this.



We really do. That's why we write this stuff down. We can accept it if people don't see the humor/appreciate the subtle references that we do, but for those that do, this is for you.

Pay attention.

It has definitely been a while since either Tyler or I have posted anything. Keep in mind that this is not a result of a shortage of wild and crazy experiences, for their have been many maniatic moments, mostly moments that most men may mistake for myths, as for their magniloquent messages and meanings (there you go, Tyler).
As far as unusual experiences go, there have been no shortage of them as of late in the House of Blues, as (2) which is more than (1), and infinitely more than (0) (which has been our previous track record) of our own have deserted us in search of a better life (whoso readeth, let him understand) with those of the opposite sex (both [2] of said persons have "interesting" stories concerning their "methods" of "espousal", about which entire blogs "might" be dedicated to in "hopes" of detailing the intricacies of their "own" "said" "stories" [note: that it is "said" stories, not "sad" stories...or is it?]). Upon losing the former (2) we have gained (2) and volumes could be written about those things which have subsequently transpired here in the House of Blues.
I will attempt to distract myself from writing about such topics at this time, and heretofore speak of other things, as perhaps the most exciting event ever has occurred, enabling me to entertain you even now (that is, through this post). This said event has quite possibly never come to pass despite our desperate attempts to disguise our disgust and discouragement with our constituents (that is to say, our "friends"). In all of our efforts to bring the joy which we find in the little things on a daily basis to you, by documenting our various adventures and doings, we don't think that we have ever had an experience such as this. "What experience could this be?" The loyal fan may ask. "Why, after experiences such as 'The Human Squeegee', 'Impromptu Cheese Party', 'Tyler Screams for Ice Cream', and many others, what could possibly happen to these zany characters which tops all others?"

I'll tell you what it was.

Somebody actually read our blog.



I know.

...and whats more...they liked it.

I know, I am as surprised as you.